In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.

In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.

August 12, 2010

Nic Nac Patty Wack Give a Dog a Bone.....

Or a tranquilizer! He barks at himself, eats every toy I give him, whines when he thinks I've left him {even though I'm just in the other room,} hoards his bones, sleeps on the couch, and tears up my furniture. He disobeys me and is so annoying. He has selective hearing and only minds me when it's in his best interest. My dog is completely out of control. Captial C O N T R O L! Yeah, he may look cute...but have you ever seen the face of the Spawn of Satan?

Ozzy is almost three and is still terrorizing my house. Now, don't get me wrong; I love my pup. I just don't like him. Yes I appreciate the fact that he greets me at the door with a wagging tail and kisses. When he's really tired, he always comes and lays beside me. He's playful and sweet. He loves to watch me cook dinner and enjoys occasionally hunting for jelly beans hid in my house. Ozzy still {he always did this as a pup, too}sits by the tub while I shower, peeking in around the curtain every once in a while to make sure I'm still in there. But, why oh why, can't he just behave.

I hate to admit this, and please don't hold it against me as a personality flaw, but I fight with this dog. I mean..... we argue. Picture this.....

Pup is sitting in the living room chewing on, let's say, my flip flop. I, of course, say, "Oz, stop it. No." He looks at me. He then continues with his "Feast of the Flip Flop!" I again, with a louder more stern voice, "OZZY. STOP! NO!" He looks again, and I mean right in the eyes, this time, with the flip flop dangling from his jaws. Ozzy then refers back to feast..... now I'm getting really annoyed. "Dang it Ozzy! I said NO!" Yelling as I'm moving towards him as if I was to grab my defenseless ragged flip flop. Now this is where it gets good... keep up!

Ozzy now has me right where he wants me. With one motion, he has latched on harder to the shoe, front legs crouched to the floor with his hind legs still standing tall and is wagging his tail. Now he thinks it's a game. I leap to grab the flip flop. Ah, miss. Ozzy drops it anyway. Now.... this is where I say, sternly, "Ozzy. Don't you dare pick that up." Ozzy slowly bows his as if he agrees he's been defeated-casually lifting the white flag. Quietly in my head, I'm thinking Victory. Yes! He finally listened! Yes!

Oh but no..... crouched, "bowing,"  keeping full eye contact the entire time, Ozzy slllloooooowwwwllllly opens his mouth, and    picks    up    the    dang     flip       flop. Are you kidding me? I mean seriously. Is there a hotline I can call? This is ridiculous! But hey, I love him, right?